On Blogging

As I do with every blog I've started, I've reached the point where it's no longer a point of interest. Sure, I'll be tooting along in my day to day life and think of something that I should blog about, or I'll see something on the interwebs that I deem worthy of sharing. Of course, I continue to log into my Reader daily and keep up with all these wonderful other bloggers.

But there's something missing in it for me, at least at the moment. I've always been the person who wants my writing to strike a chord with the readers, I want my topics to come organically and fly from my fingertips with sincerity. Right now it all seems contrived, and to be honest, I fear a certain level of vulnerability that comes across in my writing.

I love writing. It helps me truncate my thoughts and relate to others. But I've lost the most important factor- the intrinsic motivation to keep going. I need to get back to the point where I write for an audience of one- me. Where the concern is not on whether my topics are interesting, or if anyone is reading at all. Presently, I feel that this is only serving as a forum for my narcissism (look at all the wonderful things I've done) or as an emotional dump of all the troubles in life- neither of which I believe are interesting to the outside world.

So- for the time being I'm taking a break. I want to regroup on what's important to me in my writing style. I don't wish to regurgitate info that can be found on countless other blogs, nor do I want to waste anyone's time or space in their Reader on 'woe is me' posts. Don't get me wrong- life is swimmingly well at the moment, even with the hand of cards I've been dealt. I just don't see the value in what this blog has become.

Continue to follow me on Twitter, and as the trend with me and blogging goes, I'll either resume here eventually, or start a new one.

Budget Friendly Meal for One

One of the biggest challenges of grocery shopping on a budget is the misconception that fresh produce, meat, etc is too expensive. However, I have found that keeping a keen eye on your weekly ad can do wonders for your wallet and dinner plate. Coupled with my obsession with coupons, I can easily buy 2 weeks worth of groceries for under $50.

Yet another challenge I face when it comes to healthy eating, is that I have a penchant for laziness. While I love to cook and bake and spend time in the kitchen, for the most part I want immediate gratification. After a long eight hour day in the office, I don't want to wait for my dinner. These are the nights I opt for frozen dinners (high in sodium) or eating out with friends (not budget friendly).

Luckily, I have found a recipe which has become one of my go-to meals because it's quick, easy, and relatively affordable-- think under $10 (given that you have most of the ingredients already) and I usually make enough to have leftovers the following day.

What is it you ask?

Sauteed Mediterranean Tilapia with Smashed Garlic Red Potatoes


[Recipe and photo source here]

The end product- my food photography/plating
skills are to be desired

I usually modify recipes to my own liking, and so I add shallots and black olives into the mix- putting them in at the same time as the tomatoes and tilapia filets.

For the smashed potatoes, I use one clove garlic and about one pound of red potatoes (usually 4 big ones)- I slice the garlic and cube the potatoes and bring to a boil for twenty minutes. Drain and add a 1-2 tablespoons of butter and 1/4 cup of skim milk, and salt and pepper to taste. The fun part is to use the masher and mash, mash, mash away. Quick and easy.

Often times my grocery store throws 3-lb bags of russet potatoes on sale for less than a dollar (seriously!)- I've often substituted smashed potatoes for Parmesan crusted potatoes- and it's just as simple! For this, just slice/cube 1-2 potatoes (skins on), mince 1-2 cloves of garlic, add 1 tsp. of finely chopped fresh rosemary. Toss potatoes, garlic, and rosemary in olive oil so it's lightly coated (subbing vegetable oil will make the skin crispier). Put in baking dish and top with fresh parmesan- bake at 450 degrees for 35-40 minutes.

Voila! A quick, easy, and budget friendly meal for one. Trust me, if I can afford it and successfully make it, anyone can.

Budget break down
Tilapia- 2 fresh filets- $2
Garlic clove - $0.50
Tomatoes- $3.99
Canned black Olives - $1.29
Arugula- $3.99
Lemon- $0.50
(capers, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes always on hand)
Potatoes - $1.00
(garlic, milk, and butter always on hand)
Total: $12.27
*note that you will have leftover arugula (good for salads) and this makes enough for two people (or enough for one leftover meal)

Enjoy!

The Kids Are All Right

While I occasionally fall victim to blockbusters and romantic comedies (I'm looking at you, Morning Glory) my heart will always belong to art house indie films. A double nod of appreciation if it's subtitled in English. It's not so much that I would call myself a film buff, it's just that indie films don't approach life with a rose-colored lens. They're honest, and real, and usually have a great score.

This weekend The Kids Are All Right finally reached my Fios on Demand box, and I eagerly settled in for a Friday night movie. Mark Ruffalo has been one of my favorite actors for quite some time, and I think he was brilliant in this movie. The film truly depicts a modern family- but without the comedic flair and Emmy award. Plus- it opens and ends with two of my favorite artists, Vampire Weekend and MGMT- and the set design was to die for.

{via}

Have you seen any good indie films lately?

Movember

As females, we are well aware that October serves as Breast Cancer Awareness month. We are walkers in the The Susan G. Komen Foundation 5Ks, we are viewers of television shows that incorporate the awareness initiative into their programming, we are friends, daughters, sisters, relatives of someone who is currently fighting, has fought and won, or unfortunately have fallen victim to this awful disease.

But our battle with the Big C is not gender specific- and often times the male counterpart is left unnoticed. But since 2003, over $100 million has been raised in Prostate Cancer Awareness by the Movember movement. I first came to hear about Movember last year when a male friend showed up to a party with an unusual growth on his upper lip. I kid you not, he looked as if he belonged on a 1970s porn set. After a few jabs, and all kidding aside, he explained why he wasn't shaving for the entire month of November, and how this movement is growing in popularity and generating a multitude of awareness and money for the disease. Learn more about how Movember came to be here.

This year, TOMS shoes is doing its part in the Movember movement by offering a limited edition of its Classic shoes. If you are not aware of TOMS shoes, it's a wonderful start-up company based in Santa Monica, that offers a one-for-one program- for each pair of shoes purchased one pair is donated to a child in need in underdeveloped countries. Unfortunately, the limited edition ladies sizes have sold out (go ladies!) but the shoes are unisex and male sizes are still available. If life didn't find me unemployed right now, I'd definitely be snatching up a pair of these. And who doesn't love some mustache paraphernalia? More information can be found on the TOMS website.

My Date with the Glee Kids

Last Friday I had the perfect date.
With the cast of Glee.
And about 400 other people.

It was amazing.

I've admitted my obsession with the show before, and if you follow me on Twitter I'm sure you've seen my incessant 'oh em gee' tweets on Tuesday nights. So, to say that last Friday was amazing might be the biggest understatement of the year.

But let me back up a little bit, because it almost didn't happen- which would have been the second time to have passed up this awesome opportunity. The first came last spring, when I scored passes to the taping of the final performance but had to pass due to conflicts with work. Fortunately, this bout of successful "be the among the first 200 to respond" Facebooking came on the heels of my recent unemployment, so there would be no cubicles to hold me back. Except every other person I know in all of LA has a job, and no one was available to go- despite the 5pm call time.

Cue to Friday morning and all afternoon when I was undergoing an internal turmoil of do I or don't I? It's ridiculous, really, when I think about it- because why shouldn't I go? It's a once in a lifetime opportunity to see firsthand a taping of one of my favorite television shows, one of the most popular one on television at that. But I have this innate fear of disapproval- and all I could think of is what people would be thinking when I was standing in line by myself, when they realized I came alone.

PEOPLE WHO I WOULD NEVER SEE AGAIN. And I was worried what they would think of me. At 26 years old. Then, I realized that I was being ridiculous, and the whole premise of the show is to be true to yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. So I sucked up all my insecurities and took myself out of my comfort zone.

And after two awkward hours waiting in line, I had the time of my life.

{Twitpic from @frankenteen - aka Cory Monteith - aka Finn}

I was on the highest level of the balcony, so I doubt that I'll be making any appearances on the small screen, but I did get to cheer and clap with the crowd so I do get a small little claim to fame on the Dec. 8th episode, albeit anonymously. The episode they were filming was the Sectionals episode, and we were able to watch all the performances of the three competing teams, including two by the New Directions. I'll honor the spoilers we were treated to, and all I'll say is that I'm really excited to see how the rest of the season unfolds.

While at times I felt like I was reverting to my teeny-bopper days (*NSync, anyone?) it was such an energetic environment and amazing to see people from six to sixty years old sitting on the edge of their seats. The cast seemed so amicable and participated in quick Q&A session with the crowd, showing us a realistic glimpse into their off-screen personalities. I must admit, my real-life crush on Cory Monteith grew immensely, and I still hold-fast on the fact that I want to be IRL-BFF with Diana Agron. She just seems uber cool and down-to-earth.

All in all, it was an amazing way to spend my Friday evening. I got to see a new part of LA (Glendale), which I'm always a fan of, I had a behind-the-scenes Hollywood experience, and I forced myself to face one of my biggest fears (doing stuff alone). To be honest, I'm really happy that I went, not just for the massive spoiler alerts, but because I feel like I walked away a stronger person for doing something by -and for - myself.

Hot Hot Heat Wave

While the rest of the country is settling into their cozy winter-wear as fall falls upon us, California once again proves to be difficult. Not that I can complain, my current lack of employment allows me to enjoy a 90-degree beach day with no guilt, and only a little sun burn. But today, a full piece suit during a three hour interview was a little bit much. Especially for someone who has a nervous sweating problem (oh, TMI).

But eventually this record heat-wave will fade, and normalcy will creep back in to the day-to-day- as much as Los Angeles ever is normal. And should the budget allow, I'd love to infuse my fall fashion wardrobe with some layering pieces.

{via Refinery 29}


{via Free People}


{Alexa Chung at Louis Vuitton's SS11 Show- it's a dress/sweater combo-genius!}


For the warmer fall days
{via The Sartorialist}


{via InStyle}

I'm loving ALL these looks and only wish I could go on a massive shopping spree! My poor closet has been neglected ever since I had to start paying student loans, I could definitely use a refresher, or anything that didn't come off the racks at Target!

What styles are you liking this fall season?

Happy Halloween!

I'm a little tardy to the party... but to be honest, Halloween is one of my least favorite holidays. Regardless, having two roommates sometimes you have parties you don't want to attend, but by default, attend.

That's what happened this year- despite my desire to wear my PJs, eat an endless supply of Reese Peanut Butter cups, and watch Hocus Pocus on ABC Family. And if there's one thing I enjoy doing, it's spending a lot of time in the kitchen in preparation of entertaining friends. (I come from a large family, so growing up it was not uncommon to go to a birthday party every weekend).

Having snagged a left-over costume from my roommate (commence eye-rolling as it was of the 'slutty' variety), all that was left to prepare was to decorate, carve a pumpkin, and make the goodies.

While my pumpkin skills are to be desired, I had a ball whipping up some Halloween treats for our guests. There were comments galore from those attending, so much so that I have been considering going to into event planning. Then again, unemployment gives you the crazy thoughts. ;)

1. Owl Cupcakes; 2. Spooky Cauldron Dip;
3. Cheese Goblin; 4. Pumpkin decor; 5. Mummy Cupcakes

On a side note: My 10-10-10 goal keeping is failing miserably. But I haven't completely thrown in the towel yet. I guess the most important thing for me at this point is my goal to stay positive, which aside from a few rough mornings, I've been doing a good job of. It's getting increasingly hard to stay in a routine since all my days sort of run together. Any other unemployed bloggers or stay-at-home moms out there? How do you keep your days filled with energy and things to do? I've watched more Oprah this week than I have in 20 years!

Upward Facing Dog. Literally.

I have to admit, this daily yoga goal might be the death of me. Yesterday, I allowed the unemployment blues to creep in and barely managed to escape the death grip of the couch. I briefly tuned in to Jillian Michael's Yoga on Demand video, and just as quickly turned it off. (Side note: there's not one calming characteristic about that lady, why is she doing a yoga video?)

At any rate, I gave it another shot this morning, except I decided on a beginner's video with some other person, and while I wanted to give up half-way through, I forced myself to continue.

{via}

At 5'10" I have legs longer than some people are tall. My arms are double jointed at the elbows, and I have the worst posture in the world due to my insecurity of being so tall. Not to mention I am an anxious and tense person by nature, it's hard for me to relax even when I'm trying my hardest. Needless to say, on a difficulty scale of 1 to 10, yoga is definitely a 100 for me. I can't touch my toes and I never know when I should be exhaling or inhaling. I'm sure my form is more damaging than it is reparable.

But I'm going to give it another try tomorrow. I'm determined to see this goal through because it's these small things right now that I can control- when everything else seems to be spiraling.

Any yoga advice? Does it get easier?

Life Unexpected

Last we spoke I was well on my way with my first of ten goals inspired by 10-10-10.

But then, as it always does, life happened. And I got sidetracked- or for dramatic effect- derailed.
I was finally taking initiative on my spending habits knowing that in six months I could be faced without a job once my contract expired at work, should they not pick up the position permanently. I wasn't expecting that four short days after brainstorming ways to save money, I would be unemployed.

Yes, unemployed. I got the dreaded 4:45 "we need to speak with you," meeting and subsequently the figurative pink slip. My position was no longer needed. Effective immediately.

I must admit, I handled the news with great composure. No tears were shed. No angry words were muttered. Simply a smile and words of reassurance as my colleague who delivered the news is also a great friend. I tidied up my belongings and left with no goodbyes.

And here I sit, a week later, the immediate after-effects of shock, panic, disappointment, and sadness have dissipated; a new call to action is emerging. Resumes and cover letters have flown off my fingertips and into the abyss that is the job market- a handfuls of interviews have been scheduled and completed, and I'm proactive and determined enough to not let this hiccup get me down.

I also must consider that everything happens for a reason, that I was reaching a level of boredom and complacency in my position, as I do with most jobs, and I was questioning what it was, exactly, that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Perhaps now is the chance, to follow new dreams- to pursue something new- to seek out a challenge that I once cowered from.

What I do know for certain, is that I need a job relatively quickly, otherwise this California living is in jeopardy- and run back to Ohio I will not. I also know that my temporary derailment will not be complete abandonment from my 10-10-10 project. I still have more money-saving tips to post about, and I am excited about my other eight goals. For now, I'll just have to skip 4. Be more focused at work as it is no longer relevant, and other goals may shift in shape and scope as they relate to money spent.

This upcoming week will focus on goal #3- practice yoga and/or meditation as I hope it will help me strike an internal balance as I cope with this recent bout of unemployment.

How do you deal with unexpected news?

Debts, and Budgets, and Savings- Oh My!

So yesterday I proposed 10 new goals in honor of 10-10-10, in which I hope to spread out over the next ten weeks, each week focusing on one goal. While I'm usually bad at goal-setting and following through (I only crossed off four things on my summer list), I realized today that the next ten weeks leads up to the week of Christmas, coinciding with a week vacation in Ohio visiting family, and then the ever-dreaded New Year's Resolutions. So ten small goals over the course of ten weeks? Let's do this!

I've briefly talked about my debt before and long-followers of the blog will know that money or lack thereof has been a thorn in my side for quite some time and was a primary reason I left California nearly a year ago. Since then I've managed to move back to CA, revert right back into old financial woes, and somehow manage to finally get my head above water... but still so close to the surface that I'm blowing bubbles.

Low and behold my first goal: find ways to save money and stick to a budget. Groan- the B word- budget! Probably the one thing I'm worse at sticking to than goals. But one thing I've learned this year, if there's a will there's a way.

Why do I need a budget?

1. To save money- my current job is on a one-year contract, expiring in six months- which may mean a period of unemployment and no income. My current lease is also up in six months and since my current living situation is abominable I will be moving, which equals security deposit and furnishings
2. To track my spending- seeing is believing. $400 in bar tabs in the month of July? Yes, that's why I didn't have groceries for two weeks.
   
3. To control my debt- determining how much money beyond the minimum payment I can afford each month will help pay down debt faster
   

Why do I struggle with budgets?

1. Laziness- most of my money spent each month is on eating out, mostly because I'm too lazy to prepare my own food
   
2. Friends- my immediate group of friends seem to have a bottomless bank account, or maybe a forest of money trees in their backyard, so multiple times a week I'm getting dinner or happy hour requests. And combined with my laziness, I usually always say yes.
   
3. Boredom-this is the biggest cause of my spending, mostly on the weekends when the weather is nice. Read: day drinking at the beach = $400 bar tabs in the month of July
4. Ignorance- I like to sweep problems under the rug and pretend they don't exist. So a budget also requires a certain level of responsibility when I don't stick to it, which doesn't work out for my attitude of avoidance.
5. I'm spoiled - I admit it, I haven't ever really wanted for anything. Growing up I always had hot food on the table, new clothes every school year (and season for that matter), and pretty much anything I asked for. Then I became an adult- with a car loan, credit card debt, and student loans, in addition to rent, utilities, groceries, and... #ohmygodhowdidmyparentsdothis??
   

I'm committed to make this work- to start paying down my debts and saving money- and tackle a budget once and for all!

Do you live by a budget? How do you make it work?

The Day of Tens

Happy 10-10-10 day, a once in a millennium event! While everyone may be making a wish, or helping out in local organizations in generating awareness about global warning, I've decided to take an internal glance on how I can make myself a more well-rounded individual. With that I'm embarking on a mini-happiness-project if you will. I have ten goals, that I hope to spread out over the course of ten weeks, which knowing me- might turn into ten days, but I'm going to try my hardest!

{via}

So without further ado, here are my 10 goals-

1. Find ways to save money and stick to a budget
2. Eat healthy, organic, and try a vegan diet
3. Practice yoga and/or meditation daily
4. Be more focused at work
5. Commit to creativity every day
6. Be positive
7. Volunteer with great organizations
8. Learn something new
9. Spend more time in the kitchen
10. Complete a race

What goals would you set for yourself?

Rainy Day Sentiments

{via}

As I stirred awake this morning I could hear the faint drops of rain on my window pane.
I lifted my head from my pillow and paused. Strained my ears.
Could it be? Rain? In LA?
When I realized it was indeed raining, a quick smile drew on my face.

It's one (of the many) things I miss about home.
I pictured a day spent inside, curled up in a big, cozy chair.
The room dimly lit, but darkened by the weather outside.
A good book at hand along with a cup of tea.
The hours would crawl by, but the minutes escape much too fast.

But then reality settled in...
The hems of my pants cold and wet.
LA traffic worse than usual, a stressful commute.
Dealt a handful of bad news at work, a bout of disappointment.

For a fleeting moment there was a silver lining in the rain.
An oddity in the city of endless sun.

On Writing

"you have to fight every day to stop censoring yourself. and you never have anyone else to blame when you do. what happens to artists is that it's not that somebody's standing in their way, it's that their own selves are standing in their way. the compromise really isn't how or what you do, the techniques you use, or even the content, but really the compromise is beginning to feel a lack of confidence in your innermost thoughts... these innermost thoughts become less and less a part of you and once you lose them then you don't have anything else. so many people have so much to say and there are so many really worthwhile things to say that it seems impossible that we could cut ourselves off from this whole avenue of enormous excitement."

Taken from Cassavetes on Cassavetes

On Making Changes

Happy First Day of Autumn!

{via}

Isn't autumn such a pretty word? It is slowly becoming my favorite season- the last few years it has marked so many changes in my life. Two years ago, I had quit drinking and refocused my energy in getting over a failed relationship; last year I started to doubt my decision in moving to California because said failed relationship started to rekindle (spoiler alert: it failed, again).

So here I am, another year older- a little bit wiser (back in California)- and looking in on what I want to change in my life. Overall, I'm pretty content. This year it's going to be tweaks here and there to fully round out my life. It's no longer about giving things up, but enjoying them in moderation. It's about making smart decisions- financially and in relationships. It's about finding synergy between what I'm passionate about and my career. It's about learning to focus my energy and managing my insecurities.

And blogging.
I'm struggling trying to find the time and motivation.
Number. One. Priority.

Fall Fashion

TV premieres.
Football.
Pumpkin spice lattes.
New York Fashion Week.

Fall is here! Finally!

I came straight home from work this evening and dove under the covers for a quick 'thank goodness the day is over' mental break. There is a definite chill in the air, and call me crazy- a different energy abounds. Life seems a little bit more relaxed, as if I'm slowly returning from a summer vacation that I never took. Nonetheless, I'm welcoming this shift back to normalcy with open arms.

Has anyone seen the fall editorial for Tommy Hilfiger (I know NYFW is showcasing SS/11 but I've just jumped onto the fashion bandwagon, and can only think current season). It's such a cool campaign and it reminds me so much of being back home and tailgating the fall season.







And can I please have that dog?

Bonjour!

After a few Friday night dates with Netflix, I am officially a Francophile wanna-be. I am in love with all things Paris- the city of lights, red wine, macarons, the fashion, the accents -I could go on and on.

I know I'm about 10 years behind the crowd, but I finally watched Amelie a few weeks ago, which was about 10 years too late. It is such a darling movie! I loved the richness of all the yellows, reds, and greens (I notice the strangest things).


After having watched Inception twice in the theaters this summer, I developed a girl crush on Marion Cotillard. After also seeing her in Big Fish I knew she was a good actress but I was curious to see her in her native tongue. Amazing.

Her Oscar for La Vie en Rose was well deserved- that was the best performance I've seen from an actress in a really long time. I'm also convinced that I will be playing that song at my wedding. But the one movie of hers that I fell in love with (and sadly can't find to buy my own copy) is Love Me if You Dare - it's not too often that I movie can make me both genuinely laugh and move me to tears. Very highly recommended!


If that wasn't enough, I hear that this season of Gossip Girl starts out in Paris, so I have a lot to look forward to! I think it's been decided that my newest project is to learn the language- so now I just need to scout out cheap classes in Los Angeles.

What are you favorite foreign films?

Sayonora Summer

I awoke this morning to a layer of fog, and a chill in the air- enough so that the first thing I did this evening was slip into a comfy pair of sweatpants and house slippers before settling into my nightly marathon of Dexter (hello, amazing show!)

Summer is fleeting. Even if it only visited Los Angeles for intermittent days at a time. I can't say that I'm sad to see it go. I've been awaiting Labor Day weekend for a few weeks now- not just for the extra day home from work, but so I could say goodbye to the incessant social activities that leave me with a headache and a smaller bank account the following morning.

To recap, this summer I-Watched nearly every game of the FIFA World Cup
Picnicked all over Los Angeles, including The GettySaw Iglu & Hartly twice, and fell in love with a rock star
Dragged my roommate to her first Dodgers gameFound an amazing new group of friendsTailgated a soccer game, and got to see Rinaldo in action;and celebrated by 26th birthday

It's been exhausting and at times overwhelming, but after the roller coaster of the past year, it felt amazing to just let go of the stress and have some fun- to make new friends and a lifetimes of memories.

September is already shaping up to be a great month- with a concert at the Hollywood Bowl, a day trip to San Diego, and both a book club and writing workshop on the calendar. I can't wait to get back to a little bit of normalcy around here.

Constructing My World

As I've gotten older, I've become more in tune with my personality, interests, and passions. And, ironically, it's not too far off from what I remember myself like as a young kid. (If only I could take back the college/grad school years- no seriously, am I the only one who feels like they lost themselves while trying to fit in?)

At any rate, one of my biggest passions is creativity and imagination. It's surprising that I am not doing something along these lines on a full-time basis because it's the one thing I enjoy most. I spend countless hours online drooling over fashion, design, photography- all the while my earphones are in listening to the greatest music. I daydream of designing stage sets, wardrobing models, filming the perfect scene with the perfect dialogue or the perfect song.

And even though I am more self-aware than I've ever been, I haven't outwardly projected that. Insecurities still outweigh confidences, and that's a battle won by baby steps. Nothing ever comes without a little effort, and while being myself should be effortless- the process of projecting my 'true self' takes a little time and money (my closet still bears resemblance of my clubbing days, can you say sequins?)

I remember in 500 Days of Summer when Tom visits Summer's apartment for the first time, and the narrator says"the wall of distance, of space, of casual - that wall was slowly coming down. For here was Tom, in her world... a place few had been invited to see with their own eyes." Watching that scene I was drawn to the bowler hat with the apple on top (homage to the famous The Son of Man painting) and the tree with origami swans, and thinking that her apartment was so indicative of her personality.

Living with roommates, and being on a tight financial budget, I have no control over the decor in my house-- and if you could see my house, you would understand why I make such a statement. However, the one room I can control- and the room I claim to be my safe haven (as it's become my nightly retreat from said roommates) is my bedroom. And yet, since I've moved in last April, I haven't made any effort to make it my own. My furniture is secondhand, and my walls are bare. Just an unmade bed and lots of clutter- from magazines to dirty laundry.

Until now. I've made it my end-of-summer goal to make my bedroom 'my world.' Without a doubt, this is where I'll be spending the majority of my time- either reading or writing. I want to be surrounded by color and inspiration. I want warmth and invitation.

I love Whitney Port- she is the perfect example of being true to yourself while surrounded by pressure to be what society wants you to be. Isn't her apartment darling? It's what I hope to achieve in my own.

Welcome Back

Wipes cobwebs from the corner of the interwebs.

Anyone out there?

**Crickets**

Okay- I don't blame you if no one is reading, I'll admit that I've been MIA for the better half of my second rendezvous in Los Angeles. I've been trying to make up for lost time and doing all those things I regretted not doing the first go around. Whether it's a tailgate at the Rose Bowl, a picnic in Hollywood, or a local Sunday Funday with friends, I haven't said no to much of anything- to the detriment of my blog and well, let's face it my physical (whoa, beer belly) and mental (too many hobbies left unvisited) health.

But summer is (thankfully) winding down, and I'm trying to get a semblance of a normal routine in these bits. Normal bedtimes, healthy eating habits, limited alcohol indulgences, exercise that doesn't involve sand and a net, and my two favorite things- reading and writing!! (I even picked up the worst habit of all this summer- trashy reality television!!)

As much as I would love to continue writing tonight- my first foray back into physical activity (Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred) has exhausted all energy stores. It's definitely time to curl up in bed with a good book- lights out in twenty!

Look for a new post every day this week- I'm back!

The Summer of Picnics

Holy, guacamole- where has the time gone? I can't believe that tomorrow marks the end of July! Summer is quickly slipping through my fingertips, and ironically enough it's been mild, chilly, and overcast for the better part of this "summer." SoCal, I shake my fist at you!

Nonetheless, I've been managing to keep myself busy, albeit not in the most productive ways. I haven't done as much reading or writing as I would like to- but that should all be changing soon enough. Turning 26 this week makes officially closer to 30 than 20- and I may have had a teeny, tiny meltdown.

One activity that I've fallen in love with this summer has been picnicking. There's absolutely nothing more relaxing than enjoying fresh food, good company, and mid-afternoon cloud gazing. The mild temperatures allow for longer picnics, and I can't complain to that.I'm so fortunate that Los Angeles has a lot to offer in the way of public areas- from parks, beaches, museums, and yes-even a cemetery. I have to say that my favorite picnic to date was a few weekends ago at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Each Saturday night, a mausoleum becomes a screen to a classic, and Angelenos pack the grass to watch a movie above and below the stars. After ten years, it's not quite LA's 'best kept secret,' any longer- I suggest arriving early (around 5ish) and starting the picnic early- my friends and I even brought Trivial Pursuit to help pass the time. The game was cut short when the gates opened around seven, and once inside a DJ spins until the movie starts, usually after sundown- or around 9pm. Saturday Night Fever was showing the week I went, and it was such a fun, disco-loving atmosphere. A few bottles of wine later, and my friends and I were having a midnight dance party. Without a doubt, I'll be visiting again before the end of the summer. If you're in the LA area, be sure to check it out.

Another fun place to picnic is at the Getty Museum. My roommate and I went for their Saturdays off the 405 event, which was a lot of fun. Although the band that was performing wasn't to our liking, we did enjoy the Beatles music beforehand. Another one of those surreal I can't believe I'm back in California moments- sipping on wine, listening to the Beatles, and surrounded by a bunch of hip people. Yeah- I just used hip as an adjective. I'm officially 80.

I'm definitely on the lookout for fun, new places to visit- picnic basket in tow- and I'm especially eager to test out new picnic-friendly recipes. My last masterpiece was an olive-feta spread, and it will be accompanying me on every picnic, it was that good! While I entrust my paper Trader Joe's bags and a soft-sided cooler, I am on the lookout for official gear- I want to be the real deal!! I stumbled this post over at Design*Sponge (one of my fave blogs) and immediately but this company at the top of my wish list- how cool is Boxsal!? Environmentally friendly, convenient, and creative- my three favorite things!

(via)

Any other picnickers out there? What is your go-to food item? Place to visit?

Updated

I'm so excited to start actively writing again- I have so much to share! In the meantime, I've uploaded posts from my old blog- they're integral to my story and truly capture all the pitfalls and successes I've had in the last year. It's definitely been a growing process, and a journey I'll never forget.

On Finding Balance

"I used to think that one day I'd be able to resolve the different drives I have in different directions, the tensions between the different people I am. Now I realize that is who I am. I do feel I'm getting closer to the song in my head. I wasn't looking for graces. But luckily grace was looking for me."
Bono, as quoted in Rolling Stone

The last few weeks I've been stuck in a rut. I initially blamed it on feeling under the weather, but quickly figured out that I'm running myself thin- jumping from one social engagement to the next, I've ignored what should be my biggest priority-- myself.

It's true that there have been countless moments where I've felt the need to pinch myself. To take an extra five seconds for a deeper breath of the fresh, beach air. Holding back the desire to hug everyone around me and never let them go. I am so grateful that I get to call California home, because I never thought I would have this opportunity again. I am very lucky, and I am very happy.

But somewhere in the last few months, I've lost the clarity I had rediscovered- about myself- who I am, what I want, and where I see my life a year from now, five years, ten years. I replaced my "me time" with happy hours, pool parties, and late night dancing. That's not to say that I can't enjoy spending time with my friends- but I need to find the balance between having fun and being responsible and focused on what's important.

And that balance, is where I will find my fleeting happiness.

Viva la FIFA!

Big events always warrant the question- Where were you when...?

So where were you when Landon Donovan scored the winning goal to win Group C and advance in the World Cup? (ps- I love, love, love that Donovan plays for the Galaxy- yeah LA!)

Words can't even express the rollercoaster of emotions that game was to watch, especially at 7 in the morning. Followed by the adrenaline rush in the 91st minute, needless to say it was very hard focusing that morning at work. I was with a group of my favorite co-workers and side-by-side we sat, nervously watching every missed goal and bad call- and in unison jumping and cheering as we advanced to the next round.

It was one of those moments where goosebumps crawled all over my body and my heart swelled with pride. A rallying moment for Americans across the country, and a well-deserved spotlight for a sport that most Americans debunk as a "real" sport.

Today is the next USA match, the first in the knock-out round. You better believe I'm donned in my red-white-and blue, and rooting for the boys to bring it home.

Summer Sick Days

Last I wrote I had grandiose plans of a summer staycation-- then I preceded to get sick, and I'm still sick, and my weekends and weeks have definitely not gone as planned. But, then again, isn't that the way life goes?

That being said, I am taking a time-out from my go-go-go lifestyle to refocus on myself- my interests, my goals, but most importantly my health. No one should ever be sick three weeks straight in the dead of summer. Once again I'm reminding myself that it's okay to say no- and it's okay to do your own thing, even if it isn't considered to be fun or cool by the majority of people I hang out with (I admit, I need to find more people like me to be friends with. Takers?)

And heck- yesterday was technically only the first day of summer!

Summer Staycation

{she hit pause studios}

Happy weekend! Hope it's sunny and warm where you are. Southern California is fighting its annual June Gloom, but I managed to grab a few hours of rays this afternoon.

June is shaping up to be a pretty low-key month for me due to a very spend-happy May. I'm actually looking forward to taking a break- I have so much piling up on my to-do list that it's starting to get overwhelming. I don't know where to start, and once I even manage to, I get too stressed out!

I'm in the process of planning out my June weekends with low-key, budget friendly activities and I'm eager to start my summer stay-cation. I think it will be fun to play a tourist in all of Southern California, and hopefully I will meet some cool, new people along the way.

What are you summer plans?

If Dancing With the Stars Went Indie

I try to keep my reality television consumption to a bare minimum, but then Spencer starting wearing crystals and I couldn't not watch. Seriously, crystals? The guy is certifiably insane.

But I digress. I sporadically watched Dancing With the Stars this season since Chad "OchoCinco" and Erin Andrews were both on the cast. (For those who don't know, Chad plays football for the Bengals- my hometown team, and Erin is a sideline sportscaster for ESPN- a job that I once coveted).

I just happened to discover this amazing little video and imagined how awesome these two would be on the show. Don't you remember the dance number in (500) Days...? Hall and Oates! Can't they just be together in real life? They are too freaking adorable. Wait- scratch that- I want Joseph Gordon Levitt all to myself. But Zooey is a gem, I can't hate on the girl.

Flip Flop Tan Lines

One of my favorite (among many things) about summer is the first time you realize you have tan lines from your flip flops- which, ironically, happened to me this weekend. It's the smallest indication that summer is here- and with it warmer weather, longer days, BBQs, and my favorite, beach volleyball!

Memorial day is always the kick-start to the fun, summer months-and this year was no exception. I spent the last three days playing volleyball, lounging poolside, grilling out, day drinking beach-side, laughing with friends and making new ones.

So, even though I have my first tan lines of the year, I keep fantasizing about a summer spent in these Tony Burch flats. I love, love, love them!

An Education

Over the weekend I watched a charming little film called "An Education," which I immediately fell in love with. It was nominated for a few Oscars, and rightfully so as it was a great screenplay with a talented cast- I especially think Carey Mulligan is going to have a successful career.

Watching films like this one makes me fall more in love with the art of screenplay and cinematography. It's rare that films these days strike an emotional chord with the audience- theater is so littered with blockbusters and needless sequels (I'm talking to you SATC2 and Shrek 4), so when I come across a movie that I can actually relate to, I know I've found one that will have critical acclaim and little box office success.

Have you watched any good movies lately?

Thinking Outside the Box

One of my many new found passions is interior design. The way I see it, design goes beyond furniture placement and color schemes, it's more of a reflection of who we are. A boxed, room by room mirror of our individual personalities.

Sharing an apartment comes with its difficulties for many reasons, and I'm learning that I've grown past the need for roommates- but presently, my life dictates having two of them, whose personalities polarize that of my own. While I've conceded in the common areas, my bedroom is entirely my own canvas, and I can't wait to make it an amazing haven in a sometimes tense living situation.

I recently stumbled upon a show on Bravo called Nine By Design, which showcases the most adorable and eclectic NYC family. Robert and Cortney Novogratz are interior designers with seven children, who flip houses- not just any houses, but multi-million dollar homes that are absolutely phenomenal. I aspire to have their charming, confident personalities, their eyes for design and taste in truly charming pieces.

Lucky for me, they have a book that I have eagerly added to my library queue list that I will use as a tool to transform my currently blah bedroom to something awesome. Stay tuned for before and after photos, and a sneak peek into my humble abode!

Busy Bee

I just realized how busy my social calendar is this week.
Dinner tonight with a new friend, open house event with a Laker's game,
beach volleyball with coworkers, Dodger's game laden with opportunities.

My weekends may be lazy, but my weeks are pretty amazing.
I'm really grateful for this California life.
For this second chance at happiness.

Lazy Sunday

photo credit

I may or may not have gotten out of my pajamas all day.
Watched both Twilight movies.
Ate frozen pizza for lunch and dinner.
Took a nap. Maybe even two of them.
And enjoyed every lazy minute of it.

There is a lot changing in my day to day life.
A lot of letting go and moving on.
Of growing into this person I've always been, but too afraid to be.
Mostly happiness, but a lot of intermittent anxiety.
Growing up is challenging, but fun.

And every once in awhile, like today, it's even more fun to let everything recharge, and remember what it's like to be a kid again.

How do you like to spend your Sundays?