Upward Facing Dog. Literally.

I have to admit, this daily yoga goal might be the death of me. Yesterday, I allowed the unemployment blues to creep in and barely managed to escape the death grip of the couch. I briefly tuned in to Jillian Michael's Yoga on Demand video, and just as quickly turned it off. (Side note: there's not one calming characteristic about that lady, why is she doing a yoga video?)

At any rate, I gave it another shot this morning, except I decided on a beginner's video with some other person, and while I wanted to give up half-way through, I forced myself to continue.

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At 5'10" I have legs longer than some people are tall. My arms are double jointed at the elbows, and I have the worst posture in the world due to my insecurity of being so tall. Not to mention I am an anxious and tense person by nature, it's hard for me to relax even when I'm trying my hardest. Needless to say, on a difficulty scale of 1 to 10, yoga is definitely a 100 for me. I can't touch my toes and I never know when I should be exhaling or inhaling. I'm sure my form is more damaging than it is reparable.

But I'm going to give it another try tomorrow. I'm determined to see this goal through because it's these small things right now that I can control- when everything else seems to be spiraling.

Any yoga advice? Does it get easier?

Life Unexpected

Last we spoke I was well on my way with my first of ten goals inspired by 10-10-10.

But then, as it always does, life happened. And I got sidetracked- or for dramatic effect- derailed.
I was finally taking initiative on my spending habits knowing that in six months I could be faced without a job once my contract expired at work, should they not pick up the position permanently. I wasn't expecting that four short days after brainstorming ways to save money, I would be unemployed.

Yes, unemployed. I got the dreaded 4:45 "we need to speak with you," meeting and subsequently the figurative pink slip. My position was no longer needed. Effective immediately.

I must admit, I handled the news with great composure. No tears were shed. No angry words were muttered. Simply a smile and words of reassurance as my colleague who delivered the news is also a great friend. I tidied up my belongings and left with no goodbyes.

And here I sit, a week later, the immediate after-effects of shock, panic, disappointment, and sadness have dissipated; a new call to action is emerging. Resumes and cover letters have flown off my fingertips and into the abyss that is the job market- a handfuls of interviews have been scheduled and completed, and I'm proactive and determined enough to not let this hiccup get me down.

I also must consider that everything happens for a reason, that I was reaching a level of boredom and complacency in my position, as I do with most jobs, and I was questioning what it was, exactly, that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Perhaps now is the chance, to follow new dreams- to pursue something new- to seek out a challenge that I once cowered from.

What I do know for certain, is that I need a job relatively quickly, otherwise this California living is in jeopardy- and run back to Ohio I will not. I also know that my temporary derailment will not be complete abandonment from my 10-10-10 project. I still have more money-saving tips to post about, and I am excited about my other eight goals. For now, I'll just have to skip 4. Be more focused at work as it is no longer relevant, and other goals may shift in shape and scope as they relate to money spent.

This upcoming week will focus on goal #3- practice yoga and/or meditation as I hope it will help me strike an internal balance as I cope with this recent bout of unemployment.

How do you deal with unexpected news?

Debts, and Budgets, and Savings- Oh My!

So yesterday I proposed 10 new goals in honor of 10-10-10, in which I hope to spread out over the next ten weeks, each week focusing on one goal. While I'm usually bad at goal-setting and following through (I only crossed off four things on my summer list), I realized today that the next ten weeks leads up to the week of Christmas, coinciding with a week vacation in Ohio visiting family, and then the ever-dreaded New Year's Resolutions. So ten small goals over the course of ten weeks? Let's do this!

I've briefly talked about my debt before and long-followers of the blog will know that money or lack thereof has been a thorn in my side for quite some time and was a primary reason I left California nearly a year ago. Since then I've managed to move back to CA, revert right back into old financial woes, and somehow manage to finally get my head above water... but still so close to the surface that I'm blowing bubbles.

Low and behold my first goal: find ways to save money and stick to a budget. Groan- the B word- budget! Probably the one thing I'm worse at sticking to than goals. But one thing I've learned this year, if there's a will there's a way.

Why do I need a budget?

1. To save money- my current job is on a one-year contract, expiring in six months- which may mean a period of unemployment and no income. My current lease is also up in six months and since my current living situation is abominable I will be moving, which equals security deposit and furnishings
2. To track my spending- seeing is believing. $400 in bar tabs in the month of July? Yes, that's why I didn't have groceries for two weeks.
   
3. To control my debt- determining how much money beyond the minimum payment I can afford each month will help pay down debt faster
   

Why do I struggle with budgets?

1. Laziness- most of my money spent each month is on eating out, mostly because I'm too lazy to prepare my own food
   
2. Friends- my immediate group of friends seem to have a bottomless bank account, or maybe a forest of money trees in their backyard, so multiple times a week I'm getting dinner or happy hour requests. And combined with my laziness, I usually always say yes.
   
3. Boredom-this is the biggest cause of my spending, mostly on the weekends when the weather is nice. Read: day drinking at the beach = $400 bar tabs in the month of July
4. Ignorance- I like to sweep problems under the rug and pretend they don't exist. So a budget also requires a certain level of responsibility when I don't stick to it, which doesn't work out for my attitude of avoidance.
5. I'm spoiled - I admit it, I haven't ever really wanted for anything. Growing up I always had hot food on the table, new clothes every school year (and season for that matter), and pretty much anything I asked for. Then I became an adult- with a car loan, credit card debt, and student loans, in addition to rent, utilities, groceries, and... #ohmygodhowdidmyparentsdothis??
   

I'm committed to make this work- to start paying down my debts and saving money- and tackle a budget once and for all!

Do you live by a budget? How do you make it work?

The Day of Tens

Happy 10-10-10 day, a once in a millennium event! While everyone may be making a wish, or helping out in local organizations in generating awareness about global warning, I've decided to take an internal glance on how I can make myself a more well-rounded individual. With that I'm embarking on a mini-happiness-project if you will. I have ten goals, that I hope to spread out over the course of ten weeks, which knowing me- might turn into ten days, but I'm going to try my hardest!

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So without further ado, here are my 10 goals-

1. Find ways to save money and stick to a budget
2. Eat healthy, organic, and try a vegan diet
3. Practice yoga and/or meditation daily
4. Be more focused at work
5. Commit to creativity every day
6. Be positive
7. Volunteer with great organizations
8. Learn something new
9. Spend more time in the kitchen
10. Complete a race

What goals would you set for yourself?

Rainy Day Sentiments

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As I stirred awake this morning I could hear the faint drops of rain on my window pane.
I lifted my head from my pillow and paused. Strained my ears.
Could it be? Rain? In LA?
When I realized it was indeed raining, a quick smile drew on my face.

It's one (of the many) things I miss about home.
I pictured a day spent inside, curled up in a big, cozy chair.
The room dimly lit, but darkened by the weather outside.
A good book at hand along with a cup of tea.
The hours would crawl by, but the minutes escape much too fast.

But then reality settled in...
The hems of my pants cold and wet.
LA traffic worse than usual, a stressful commute.
Dealt a handful of bad news at work, a bout of disappointment.

For a fleeting moment there was a silver lining in the rain.
An oddity in the city of endless sun.

On Writing

"you have to fight every day to stop censoring yourself. and you never have anyone else to blame when you do. what happens to artists is that it's not that somebody's standing in their way, it's that their own selves are standing in their way. the compromise really isn't how or what you do, the techniques you use, or even the content, but really the compromise is beginning to feel a lack of confidence in your innermost thoughts... these innermost thoughts become less and less a part of you and once you lose them then you don't have anything else. so many people have so much to say and there are so many really worthwhile things to say that it seems impossible that we could cut ourselves off from this whole avenue of enormous excitement."

Taken from Cassavetes on Cassavetes