It's no secret that social media is all the rage right now. It's also no secret that I have been on a journey of self-discovery over the last few months, complete with all its highs and lows. And honestly, the convergence of the two have only added fuel to the pit of anxiety fire.
In an effort to give myself more "me" time, I deleted my Facebook account early this week. When I saw that Facebook had celebrated its sixth birthday a few weeks back, I got to thinking about what has happened in my life the last six years, and what Facebook has supplemented to that life.
The answer? Stress, and a lot of it. In six years, I have turned 21 and vacationed in New York City, I have graduated college, I have interned and worked full-time at my dream job, I have had a handful of failed 'relationships,' I have been back stabbed by people I believed to be my best-friends, and I have moved across the country and found new friends and a new outlook on life. At the same time, I was still virtually linked to everyone who has spread malicious rumors about me, to people who knew the shell of a person I was the last six years, people who I passed in the hallway eight years ago but was never 'cool' enough to warrant a conversation, and people who I actually talked to on a consistent basis- whether via e-mail, g-chat, or ON THE PHONE.
That got me further thinking, what is the purpose of Facebook? I was concerned that by deleting my account I would lose touch with certain people who I might need to reference in future job searches. The solution? I made a LinkedIn Profile. Other than that, Facebook is a social tool in which we use to measure one anothers' success in life, am I wrong?
We update our statuses when we are going to swanky events; we upload our photos of vacations, and marriages, and children; we boast our professional accomplishments; we measure our popularity by the number of friends in our network. We waste valuable time on-line mindlessly surfing through photo albums, clicking through to profiles of complete strangers who have written on our friends' walls (don't deny it, you know you do it). How many of us single girls continue to check the profiles of our exes, and even their new girlfriends? Gone are the days of being fully disconnected from people in your past.
How narcissistic is it of us to perpetuate this voyeurism? Do people really care when I'm working out at the gym? I highly doubt it. It just furthers this idealism that we must all lead perfect lives-- i.e. I work out to remain skinny, so I can wear cute clothes and appear attractive in my photos; and I must work a good job to afford these cute clothes, and take vacations and post photos of them to prove my spending power.
Facebook is a tool of social comparison, and frankly, I want no part in it. Having recently moved home, I am running into people around town that I went to high school with. I'm not stopping for idle chit-chat, yet people continue to "friend request" me, an instant indication that they are either succeeding or failing in life by mere comparison.
I know where I am in life, and I know where I want to be heading. It's not a rat race. My inner circle will continue to be apprised of my life, because I am inviting them in, after all that's the true meaning of friendship. In the meantime, I'm easing this anxiety of comparing my life to the superficial lives of others. And I'm getting back a lot of time that I can utilize to make my life more enriched and fulfilled. (Although, I am missing playing Scrabble, and for that reason alone I might create a new account- but with very selective "membership" of friends).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
AMEN, sistah!
ReplyDeletethis is exactly the reason I deleted my old facebook profile...i was sick of it. I still have my work profile (for professional purposes) and in case anyone would ever truly need to find me. But it has about 2 pics on it, and is very bare bones. I am done with the drama. I can honestly say I am sooo much happier without Facebook.
It's your own personal marketing tool - you advertise yourself to your peers and most of it is false advertising. Facebook promotes an exaggerated existence.
ReplyDeleteI had friends on there - mainly girls - who friended 1000 people and accumulated 1000s of photos. Every time they go to the bar, they feel the need to capture that not-so-unique experience forever. Heck, every time they left their apartment, they had the camera in tow just in case.
That's an extreme example, but most people on Facebook basically do the same thing. To an extent, I am guilty of it too.
Now, I will say that Facebook served it's purpose while I was in college. It allowed me to reconnect with a couple of people from high school. But at the same time, I didn't feel the need to be friends with random-dude-from-freshman-English just to pad his friends total.
There's something to be said for not having your life made public. I like my privacy. I don't want random people from my past to know my current job, relationship status or which shirt I wore most often to bars in 2007.
All that being said, most people who delete their Facebook end up opening it back up at some point, so whatev.
I'm definitely a fan of facebook. (But that's just me) It's where I keep all my pictures organized because friends and family from back home like seeing them and it's an easy way of communicating with my mom and friends in Ottawa since I don't have a phone plan here that allows free calls to Canada. That being said I definitely get where you're coming from but I don't think I could ever delete my account. I would miss too many people back home. I love seeing what my friends are doing and I find the privacy settings are excellent, so I'm definitely a fan.
ReplyDelete