An Addendum

An addendum to my last post:

I tend to be a bit melodramtic, eh?

I haven't totally rejected the 'American Dream' but I am choosing to no longer let it define me. Titles, job descriptions, and paychecks are only secondary to living a fulfilled life.  I strongly disapprove of the notion of being something- a doctor, a teacher, an executive, a homemaker. Our being should be comprised of our friendships, our philanthropy, our interests, our outlooks on life. My priority no longer rests on the label stitched in my power suit or the title printed on my business card- but rather on the stamps in my passport and written words that bring stories to life.

I am completely aware that I can't just up and travel the world at my leisure. I understand fiscal responsibility.  I may not like it, but I accept it as reality.

I am not afraid of working hard, nor do I have a sense of entitlement. I spent most of my teen-age and adult years pursuing what I thought I wanted to do for the rest of my life.  I worked really hard, I put in long hours, made very little, I did grunt work and I didn't complain.

But then one day I woke up and realized that I was going through all the motions without emotion, what I thought I wanted to do all my life as an eighteen year-old wasn't what I wanted to do as twenty-five year old. I do want a full-time job, because I love the structure of the corporate world- having places to be, deadlines to meet, and relationships to foster- but I also want to be intellectually stimulated and challenged, and to absolutely love what I do.  But at present, I haven't figured out 'what' that is yet.

So here I am, drifting in this state of acknowledgment that there is so much more in life to explore and achieve, and an inability of defining it and making it happen.  It's not commitment I fear, but settling. I am Richard Yate's Frank Wheeler. To. A. Tee.

So the journey may seem dark, but there is light at the proverbial end of the tunnel.  I will figure out the 'what' and finally turn my passions into a profession.

What do you do for work? Do you love it, or dream of greener pastures? Did you always know what you wanted to do or did it take you time to figure it out?