On Who I Am (Right Now)

I've tinkered around a little bit with the blog today, so jump out of the Google Reader and let me know what you think.  Still trying to figure out how to change the font for the side-bar headers and blog titles-- but it's giving me something to do with my time.

I can't believe that it's already been three weeks since I've moved home.  To be completely honest, I definitely think that my doubts and hesitations about leaving California behind were a serious bout of homesickness, something that could have been easily cured with a trip home for the holidays.  But in the spirit of seeing the glass half full, I keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason.  I'm definitely using this time wisely to save up some money for my next big adventure-- wherever it takes me.

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Don't get me wrong, it has been great being home and visiting with family and friends... but I know that something is missing in Ohio. With this new found perspective I know that if given a little more time to make friends, and a little more financial security, I would have been content in California.   Yes, my conservative upbringing made me feel a little out of place in the crazy world of Los Angeles, but my liberal lifestyle is too much to bear for settling down in this small, conservative town.  Maybe I'm destined for a perpetual state of awkwardness, a constant search for a sense of belonging?

In reality, I know that I'm a commitment-phobic, independent soul, with a serious case of wanderlust.  I know this journey will eventually expire, when I achieve my dreams of traveling the world and publishing a book.  My path is unconventional to many- but I'm accustomed to being the outsider looking in.  My emotions are muted, until manifested in written form.  I can't be smothered by conventions, corporations, or what most people may expect from me.

I'm hardwired to always be leaving. And I'm okay with that.