Times have changed, and times are strange;
Here I come but I ain't the same; Mama I'm coming home
ozzy osbourne
I made the decision this week that I'm going home. I'm leaving California and it freaks me out. Because even with my discontent with certain aspects of life out west, I've changed and grown and become such a different person than I was a year ago. And I'm afraid to lose that- to lose this new sense of self, of independence, of understanding and contentment. I'm afraid of slipping back into old habits, I'm afraid of losing my sense of adventure, and most importantly I'm afraid of losing the freedom to enjoy a liberal assimilation of all cultures.
The midwest is different. It's conservative. It's a little outdated. It's reserved. It's everything I am not. But it's so much a part of me. Because the midwest is kind, it is entrenched with morals and community. The midwest is my comfort zone, it's welcoming and annoying all at once.
But I'll come back to you in a year or so
And I'll rebuild, be ready to become
noah and the whale
So I am hesitantly returning to a place that simultaneously welcomes me with open arms, but casts a judgemental eye to anyone who displays any signs of indifference or individuality. I am not a cookie cutter image of the midwest.
I am not even certain that I'm making the best decision. What I do know is that something is missing in California. Maybe I'll find it back home. Then again, maybe this journey doesn't end, and moving home is one more stop along the way. A rejuvenation of sorts. Perhaps a year from now finds me in another time and place.
Until then, I'm ready to be a big fish in a little pond once more.
Here I come but I ain't the same; Mama I'm coming home
ozzy osbourne
I made the decision this week that I'm going home. I'm leaving California and it freaks me out. Because even with my discontent with certain aspects of life out west, I've changed and grown and become such a different person than I was a year ago. And I'm afraid to lose that- to lose this new sense of self, of independence, of understanding and contentment. I'm afraid of slipping back into old habits, I'm afraid of losing my sense of adventure, and most importantly I'm afraid of losing the freedom to enjoy a liberal assimilation of all cultures.
The midwest is different. It's conservative. It's a little outdated. It's reserved. It's everything I am not. But it's so much a part of me. Because the midwest is kind, it is entrenched with morals and community. The midwest is my comfort zone, it's welcoming and annoying all at once.
But I'll come back to you in a year or so
And I'll rebuild, be ready to become
noah and the whale
So I am hesitantly returning to a place that simultaneously welcomes me with open arms, but casts a judgemental eye to anyone who displays any signs of indifference or individuality. I am not a cookie cutter image of the midwest.
I am not even certain that I'm making the best decision. What I do know is that something is missing in California. Maybe I'll find it back home. Then again, maybe this journey doesn't end, and moving home is one more stop along the way. A rejuvenation of sorts. Perhaps a year from now finds me in another time and place.
Until then, I'm ready to be a big fish in a little pond once more.
You've made the decision.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find what you are missing, in Ohio. If you miss California too much, you can always come back.
PS. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE Noah and the Whale. They were at the Roxy 2 weeks back.
I'm surprised. I hope you find what you're looking for back in Cincinnati. I've lived here most of my life. Sometimes people don't understand, but I believe you can find what you're looking for wherever you go. Cincinnati is a good place to live but there will always be unanswered dreams.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Dave W
Sigh, this city is pretty tough to settle down in. I've been here over a year and while it's growing on me (read: SUN), the Midwest is still my natural habitat. I wonder if this place will ever feel like home.
ReplyDelete-fellow 20sber