One thing I've learned through the years is that I have a tendency to be a pessimist, a glass half empty type of person. This is a quality that I admittedly detest, and one that I am constantly working really hard on trying to change.
Life has taught me that everything happens for a reason. Things have happened through the years that have shaped me into this individual I am today- flaws and quirks alike. However, I am making concerted efforts to take each and every opportunity in the present and future as a positive experience, a glass-half full perspective, if you will.
{via}
I try to imagine where I was in life a year ago and in doing so I cringe at the thought that I'm willingly returning to a place that I so eagerly left behind. Yet upon further reflection, I realize that I am returning to only to the physical place, the emotional turmoil I fled has long passed.
So even if California was ultimately not where I'm destined to be, it has been such a blessing and a beautiful landscape for me to find myself again. To become the woman that I always wanted to be. A woman who is honest, reliable, and genuine- and most importantly, who does not seek acceptance but rather- individuality.
Without a doubt I am going to miss California- how serene the ocean looks against the mountain backdrop every day on my way to work, the sound of skateboard wheels on the asphalt, the friends I have made who are nothing like me at all but who I love nevertheless, the culture that I've been exposed to and never want to lose, and the incessant sunshine and sea breeze.
Yet in losing these qualities I so treasure in California, I'm gaining more in Ohio. The comfort of country roads and not needing a navigational device, the pristine landscape after winter's first snow fall, and getting to watch my nieces and nephews grow up before my own eyes.
I have made reference before that I would love to do what Elizabeth Gilbert did in Eat, Pray, Love, but I'm realizing that perhaps I already began that journey. I have spent the past eleven months shedding so many layers and walls that I developed over the years, and allowed my vulnerability to guide the way.
I'm ready to return to that physical place that I didn't flee, but left for safe-keeping until I was ready to come home fully restored. I think that I have a lot to prove to a lot of people, but I am also confident in my resolve and who I am.
Life has taught me that everything happens for a reason. Things have happened through the years that have shaped me into this individual I am today- flaws and quirks alike. However, I am making concerted efforts to take each and every opportunity in the present and future as a positive experience, a glass-half full perspective, if you will.
{via}
I try to imagine where I was in life a year ago and in doing so I cringe at the thought that I'm willingly returning to a place that I so eagerly left behind. Yet upon further reflection, I realize that I am returning to only to the physical place, the emotional turmoil I fled has long passed.
So even if California was ultimately not where I'm destined to be, it has been such a blessing and a beautiful landscape for me to find myself again. To become the woman that I always wanted to be. A woman who is honest, reliable, and genuine- and most importantly, who does not seek acceptance but rather- individuality.
Without a doubt I am going to miss California- how serene the ocean looks against the mountain backdrop every day on my way to work, the sound of skateboard wheels on the asphalt, the friends I have made who are nothing like me at all but who I love nevertheless, the culture that I've been exposed to and never want to lose, and the incessant sunshine and sea breeze.
Yet in losing these qualities I so treasure in California, I'm gaining more in Ohio. The comfort of country roads and not needing a navigational device, the pristine landscape after winter's first snow fall, and getting to watch my nieces and nephews grow up before my own eyes.
I have made reference before that I would love to do what Elizabeth Gilbert did in Eat, Pray, Love, but I'm realizing that perhaps I already began that journey. I have spent the past eleven months shedding so many layers and walls that I developed over the years, and allowed my vulnerability to guide the way.
I'm ready to return to that physical place that I didn't flee, but left for safe-keeping until I was ready to come home fully restored. I think that I have a lot to prove to a lot of people, but I am also confident in my resolve and who I am.
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