Sunny Days

 

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After two weeks of nothing but snow, we have a short reprieve before another storm hits us this weekend. The sun is out. 

I can feel its warmth on my skin. I can feel it burning my retinas as I dare not shield my eyes from its beauty.  The landscape, albeit briefly, is littered with color. Azure skies. Shades of reds, greens, and blues whiz by although their vividness dimmed by the collection of salt, a small reminder that the monochrome days will return soon enough.

 

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The sun is all I need today, though, for a lift in my spirits as my lips spread into a smile between sips of coffee.  Spring is right around the corner.  Today serves as a reminder that although your days may be gray and full of slumber, a brighter tomorrow is sure to come. 

On Indifference and the Media

I'm a little concerned at the indifference I've been experiencing lately.  Is my lack of opinion, an opinion?  After all, I spent the majority of my childhood developing thoughts and viewpoints in direct opposition of my conservative family, so to simply not care or not have an opinion is very uncharacteristic of me.

Take, for example the Tiger Woods scandal.  The media is in a huff right now due in part to his "public apology" tomorrow, and how it comes months too late. He cheated, so what? It happens every day by men and women across the country. Life goes on.  Some argue that he isn't being a "positive role model," for our children, but truth be told, he is an individual with exceptional talent that ultimately put him in the spotlight. He didn't ask to be a role model, that was assigned to him by each individual, case by case.  Don't ridicule him for being human.

John Mayer has also been shrouded in negative publicity over his interview given to Playboy magazine.  While I believe his comments towards the African American community were a little too extreme, his comments about the relationship he had with Jessica Simpson did not stir any feminist discontent within me.  Boo-freaking-hoo, people. This is a guy whose paycheck is based on his entertainment factor, and that's what he did- gave an entertaining interview to a magazine whose core audience is misogynistic in nature.

The biggest media scandal to which I truly fall indifferent to, is the article in Vanity Fair which touts Cincinnati as having nothing worthy of bragging about. A.A. Gill opened his review of the Creation Museum by writing, "It’s not in the nature of stoic Cincinnatians to boast, which is fortunate, really, for they have meager pickings to boast about." And the albeit minority, elitist community in Cincinnati have their panties in a bunch. One blogger went so far as to write a whole post on how Cincinnati is awesome-sauce, to which Vanity Fair responds with this article.  I find it all very laughable, mostly because I agree with A.A. Gill.  In its entirety, Cincinnati is nothing more than a handful of divided communities all playing a losing, close-minded battle in which community is the best.  Cincinnatian's don't embrace the city center or the notion developing a solid art program or a public school system.  Cincinnatian's don't embrace any hometown teams, unless their success garners national recognition.  It is a city of bandwagon-ers, a city of conservatives who are set in their ways, and a city of liberals who seek their status by shopping labels and dining by stars. 

I think my indifference is attributed to my rejection of it all. I'm becoming more of an independent daily.  And I kind of like it. Love it.

Why I Deleted Facebook

It's no secret that social media is all the rage right now.  It's also no secret that I have been on a journey of self-discovery over the last few months, complete with all its highs and lows.  And honestly, the convergence of the two have only added fuel to the pit of anxiety fire.

In an effort to give myself more "me" time, I deleted my Facebook account early this week.  When I saw that Facebook had celebrated its sixth birthday a few weeks back, I got to thinking about what has happened in my life the last six years, and what Facebook has supplemented to that life.

The answer? Stress, and a lot of it.  In six years, I have turned 21 and vacationed in New York City, I have graduated college, I have interned and worked full-time at my dream job, I have had a handful of failed 'relationships,' I have been back stabbed by people I believed to be my best-friends, and I have moved across the country and found new friends and a new outlook on life.  At the same time, I was still virtually linked to everyone who has spread malicious rumors about me, to people who knew the shell of a person I was the last six years, people who I passed in the hallway eight years ago but was never 'cool' enough to warrant a conversation, and people who I actually talked to on a consistent basis- whether via e-mail, g-chat, or ON THE PHONE.

That got me further thinking, what is the purpose of Facebook? I was concerned that by deleting my account I would lose touch with certain people who I might need to reference in future job searches. The solution? I made a LinkedIn Profile. Other than that, Facebook is a social tool in which we use to measure one anothers' success in life, am I wrong? 

We update our statuses when we are going to swanky events; we upload our photos of vacations, and marriages, and children; we boast our professional accomplishments; we measure our popularity by the number of friends in our network. We waste valuable time on-line mindlessly surfing through photo albums, clicking through to profiles of complete strangers who have written on our friends' walls (don't deny it, you know you do it). How many of us single girls continue to check the profiles of our exes, and even their new girlfriends?  Gone are the days of being fully disconnected from people in your past. 

How narcissistic is it of us to perpetuate this voyeurism? Do people really care when I'm working out at the gym? I highly doubt it. It just furthers this idealism that we must all lead perfect lives-- i.e. I work out to remain skinny, so I can wear cute clothes and appear attractive in my photos; and I must work a good job to afford these cute clothes, and take vacations and post photos of them to prove my spending power.

Facebook is a tool of social comparison, and frankly, I want no part in it.  Having recently moved home, I am running into people around town that I went to high school with.  I'm not stopping for idle chit-chat, yet people continue to "friend request" me, an instant indication that they are either succeeding or failing in life by mere comparison.

I know where I am in life, and I know where I want to be heading.  It's not a rat race.  My inner circle will continue to be apprised of my life, because I am inviting them in, after all that's the true meaning of friendship. In the meantime, I'm easing this anxiety of comparing my life to the superficial lives of others. And I'm getting back a lot of time that I can utilize to make my life more enriched and fulfilled.  (Although, I am missing playing Scrabble, and for that reason alone I might create a new account- but with very selective "membership" of friends).

Snowcopalypse!

This past fall, when I was really starting to feel homesick, a lot of those feelings were a direct result of not experiencing the seasonal changes that I have grown up knowing.  October, to me, meant fall foilage, crisp mornings where you could see your breath, and a gradual chill that encouraged fashionable changes to include suede boots and tweed jackets. But the October I was experiencing in Southern California was a continuation of summer months, with the occasional chilly evening.

We all know how this story ends, and here I sit in Ohio, where in fifteen days we have had 21 inches of snow, and there is more on its way.  Luckily I am unemployed (except for my two bartending shifts each weekend), so I don't have to stress out about driving conditions during rush hour, thank goodness.  And, fortunately, living in my parents basement means that my cupboards are always stocked, so I never need to stress about being stranded without food.

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However, this cabin fever is getting the best of me.  There are only so many hours in a day that I can spend on-line.  After I catch up on my reader, I'm grasping at straws for entertainment. I've seriously considered canceling my Facebook account because it actually annoys me- yet at the same time I'm addicted, I have tried to occupy my time elsewhere, and after an hour I find myself signing right back on, which is frustrating.

Last week I went to the library and checked out four books- I love reading- yet none of the books have been picked up.  I could capitalize on this time and apply for countless jobs, but I get discouraged too easily.  I have already watched the movies I own, and I can't purchase any more on-demand movies or else my parents' cable bill will be out-of-this-world.

How do I prioritize my time when I have all the time in the world? Does that even make sense?

In other words, I'm really ready for summer!

Happy Valentine's Day

 

"You get approached a lot. Probably have since the day you strapped on your first training bra. But you're smart, and you're creative, and you're caring and big... But, how come the guys only see the package it comes in, sure... you're flattered. But ultimately, ultimately it's tiresome because it has nothing to do with you. You were born that way, you can't take credit for it. Your insides though, that's yours. That's what you want someone to truly see. Even a stranger."

Last weekend I watched Love Happens with Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart (swoon), and aside from making me want to visit Seattle really bad, this quote from the movie stuck out to me. 

This Valentine's Day, it doesn't bother me that I'm single. Being single means I'm still waiting for the guy who sees "the inside." Being single means that I'm not with the wrong guy anymore. I'm willing to wait for however long it takes, because once I find that guy, I know it will last forever. 

Happiness is a State of Mind

 

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“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; 

an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Winston Churchill 

Doesn't this photo just evoke happy feelings?  I'm trying really hard to be optimistic, but I continue to struggle with comparisons to other people lives and accomplishments.  It's hard to be genuinely happy for people when it makes me feel like such a failure.  What happened to my potential? My sunshine-y personality? 

Today, I went back on my anti-depressants. I knew it was only a matter of time.

Can I Get a Hoot, Hoot!?!

A couple of weeks ago, when trying to use up the remaining balance on a gift card, I picked up a gold and black Owl ring from Forever 21.  It was quirky and different, and caught my eye.

Ever since, I've fallen in love with owls. In real life, they're ugly, but in design and in fashion, I like them.

[etsy]

 

[etsy] 

 

[etsy] 

 

[etsy]

 

[we heart it]

 

[we heart it] 

I could spend all day on Etsy and We Heart It. Seriously, two of my new favorite sites to waste time on. But so inspiring!!!