Best of 2009- Book

Book. What book – fiction or non – touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

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"People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you're fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly." Elizabeth Gilbert

This was a year where I was reunited with the public library, rediscovered my passion for reading and writing, and even fell victim to the Twilight series. But without a doubt, the best book I read in 2009 was Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Gilbert's memoir spent over a year at the top spot on the NY Times Bestseller's List, and with good reason. She chronicles her year-long journey of self-discovery and healing that took her from Italy to Indonesia to Bali, where she learned to love herself again, and most importantly, to love again.

Although I am at an entirely differently place in my life, Gilbert's words spoke volumes and my copy of her book is dog-eared and underlined all over. It is truly a book that I will continue to read over and over, and without doubt gain something new from each experience. While my eleven months in California pale in comparison to her more worldly travels, I whole-heartedly agree that depression can be fought without anti-depressants, that a little vulnerability and writing can go a long way.

Since finishing her book last spring, I have been itching to travel abroad and continue my journey in learning more about the world, and most importantly, more about myself. By appearances it may seem that I have taken a backwards step by abandoning California, but it is all a part of a bigger vision I have that sees me purchasing a one-way ticket to Europe and seeing where life takes me- whether it's a trip of a few weeks or several months, is yet to be seen. But I do know that it is imminent, and hopefully, life-altering.

Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love is set to hit the big screen in 2011, with Julia Roberts at the helm, and her follow up book Committed is due for a January 2010 publication. In the meantime, I've been admiring Jamie Varon's journey on A Life in Translation.

The Worst 'Best Of' Participation Award Goes To...

So much is going on that I'm terrible at keeping up with my poor little blog. I stripped it over a month ago when I started on the re-design. As you can tell by the boring white-ness, I didn't get very far.

Then I began 20sb "Best of 2009" Challenge, where I write 31 posts in 31 days. And I can't even keep up with that two days in a row. Blog fail!

Yesterday's "best of" was: Restaurant moment. Share the best restaurant experience you had this year. Who was there? What made it amazing? What taste stands out in your mind?

It's a safe assumption that most everything is going to be LA-centric. I already really miss California, and am left wondering if I made the right decision. I'm sure time will tell. So, my favorite restaurant moment was eating at The Bazaar at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills. I originally wrote about it here.

Today's "best of" is: Article. What’s an article that you read that blew you away? That you shared with all your friends. That you Delicious’d and reference throughout the year.

What's really surprising is that I more or less stalk CNN, LATimes, and the Cincinnati Enquirer websites all day reading countless articles ranging from local to world news, with a bunch of other random articles thrown in-- take, for example, an article I recently read about athlete's wives in light of the recent Tiger Woods' scandal. Yet despite my apparent news-obsessive behavior, nothing has really resonated with me this year. Perhaps its my Twitter-induced ADD, after all I see the majority of my news there first, in 140 characters or less.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

I'm going to get better at this blogging business-- this is my third attempt, third time's a charm?

Best of 2009 Challenge

What a whirlwind 2009 has been for me, beginning with a cross country road trip into the virtually unknown, followed by eleven months of soul searching and defining my life and goals, and ending with a very tortured decision to move back home.

Despite everything- the good and the bad, and everything in between, I have no doubt that I would do it all again if given a chance. There is nothing in the world that money can buy that can replace all the learning experiences I have had the last year.

So, that being said, I decided to participate in 20sb (2o-something-blogger) Best of 2009 Challenge, where each day I'm prompted to reflect on something that happened in my life this year. I think this is a great opportunity to document one of the most life-changing years I've had in this quintessential 20-something mid-life crisis.

Today's prompt: What was your best trip in 2009?

My biggest trip, most definitely, was the drive to California--and due to budgetary limitations, there weren't too many other trips. San Diego a few times, Anaheim for a baseball game, and a camping adventure to Sequoia.

But the best trip? Hands down, Vegas, baby!!! Of course, it's probably cliche to claim Vegas as the cream of the crop, after all it's Sin City, but my trip was an offhand comment at dinner turned into a random weeknight road trip.So, let's explain.

My roommate and I have a running joke that our favorite sushi restaurant, fondly referred to as "Boats," always leads to the most entertaining evenings- ranging from pub crawls, to sold out rock shows, to frozen yogurt binges. Partly because it was our favorite place, partly because they have an awesome deal during the week, and mostly because I was moving back to Ohio and am convinced the sushi here is rotten- the roommates and I decided to eat there one last time.

As with most conversations during my last few days in California, there was a lot of incredulous discussions about how I could possibly leave such a beautiful place, which in turn led to how I was planning my grand return and crashing a work conference in San Francisco next year. (And by crashing, I mean being a tourist all day and partying at night, clearly). This particular conference also is held in Vegas.

I can't believe you've lived in LA all this time, and have never been to Vegas, says one of my roommates.

Pause. An exchange of looks.

Let's go to Vegas!!!!!

And that is how I ended up on a random road trip to Vegas on a Monday night, three days before I was scheduled to fly back to Ohio. The road trip was complete with chugged cans of Red Bulls, plenty of car dance parties, and tons of laughter. The four hours spent in a fog of chain smokers and alcoholics, was the funnest four hours I had had in a really long time.

Sometimes, a little spontaneity is all you need to make lasting memories.

Glass Half...

One thing I've learned through the years is that I have a tendency to be a pessimist, a glass half empty type of person. This is a quality that I admittedly detest, and one that I am constantly working really hard on trying to change.

Life has taught me that everything happens for a reason. Things have happened through the years that have shaped me into this individual I am today- flaws and quirks alike. However, I am making concerted efforts to take each and every opportunity in the present and future as a positive experience, a glass-half full perspective, if you will.


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I try to imagine where I was in life a year ago and in doing so I cringe at the thought that I'm willingly returning to a place that I so eagerly left behind. Yet upon further reflection, I realize that I am returning to only to the physical place, the emotional turmoil I fled has long passed.

So even if California was ultimately not where I'm destined to be, it has been such a blessing and a beautiful landscape for me to find myself again. To become the woman that I always wanted to be. A woman who is honest, reliable, and genuine- and most importantly, who does not seek acceptance but rather- individuality.

Without a doubt I am going to miss California- how serene the ocean looks against the mountain backdrop every day on my way to work, the sound of skateboard wheels on the asphalt, the friends I have made who are nothing like me at all but who I love nevertheless, the culture that I've been exposed to and never want to lose, and the incessant sunshine and sea breeze.

Yet in losing these qualities I so treasure in California, I'm gaining more in Ohio. The comfort of country roads and not needing a navigational device, the pristine landscape after winter's first snow fall, and getting to watch my nieces and nephews grow up before my own eyes.

I have made reference before that I would love to do what Elizabeth Gilbert did in Eat, Pray, Love, but I'm realizing that perhaps I already began that journey. I have spent the past eleven months shedding so many layers and walls that I developed over the years, and allowed my vulnerability to guide the way.

I'm ready to return to that physical place that I didn't flee, but left for safe-keeping until I was ready to come home fully restored. I think that I have a lot to prove to a lot of people, but I am also confident in my resolve and who I am.

Sometimes music speaks to the soul.

Times have changed, and times are strange;
Here I come but I ain't the same; Mama I'm coming home
ozzy osbourne

I made the decision this week that I'm going home. I'm leaving California and it freaks me out. Because even with my discontent with certain aspects of life out west, I've changed and grown and become such a different person than I was a year ago. And I'm afraid to lose that- to lose this new sense of self, of independence, of understanding and contentment. I'm afraid of slipping back into old habits, I'm afraid of losing my sense of adventure, and most importantly I'm afraid of losing the freedom to enjoy a liberal assimilation of all cultures.

The midwest is different. It's conservative. It's a little outdated. It's reserved. It's everything I am not. But it's so much a part of me. Because the midwest is kind, it is entrenched with morals and community. The midwest is my comfort zone, it's welcoming and annoying all at once.

But I'll come back to you in a year or so
And I'll rebuild, be ready to become
noah and the whale

So I am hesitantly returning to a place that simultaneously welcomes me with open arms, but casts a judgemental eye to anyone who displays any signs of indifference or individuality. I am not a cookie cutter image of the midwest.

I am not even certain that I'm making the best decision. What I do know is that something is missing in California. Maybe I'll find it back home. Then again, maybe this journey doesn't end, and moving home is one more stop along the way. A rejuvenation of sorts. Perhaps a year from now finds me in another time and place.

Until then, I'm ready to be a big fish in a little pond once more.

Where I Profess my Gleek-dom

Is anyone else completely obsessed with this show? Because I absolutely adore it. The singing, the dancing, the mash-ups, the humor, the ooh-la-la eye candy (I'm talking to you Cory Monteith), and not to mention it fictionally takes place in Ohio.

It's official, I am a Gleek. And I am not ashamed.

Sadly, there isn't a new episode until next week. My Wednesday nights just haven't been the same the last few weeks since Glee has been pre-empted due to the World Series. But if there is one thing I love more than Glee, it's baseball, so I'm okay with that.

So imagine my elation when the cast sang the national anthem this past Saturday for Game 3 in Philly. My two favorites. At. The. Same. Time.

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Seeing this happen really makes me miss working for a major league baseball team. I never got star struck when celebrities were visiting the stadium and I just so happened to run across them or accompanied them onto the field for pre-game ceremonies... but this would have been an exception. I would definitely have been that giddy, annoying, 'ohmygosh'ing' fangirl begging for a photograph.

Which is precisely why my roommate and I are going to The Grove this Saturday for their CD signing at Barnes and Nobles. I think the last time I did anything of this nature I was about ten years old and Brian Austin Green (yes, David Silver) was signing something at a local mall.

Again, I have no shame.

Also, I want to be real-life-bff's with Dianna Agron (Quinn). Go check out her tumblr. Seriously, its named after Alice in Wonderland. Brilliant.

Under Construction

I want a degree in graphic design and photography. If for no other reason than to make this blog BEAUTIFUL. Because right now I am not happy with it. So please ignore the ugliness.

Tomorrow officially begins life detox. This includes ridding myself from all negativity, pursuing activities that make me happy (even if they make me dorky), eating healthy---aka not raiding the candy dish twenty times a day at work, working out regularly, and maintaining a sober lifestyle. After all, alcohol is a poison so why put my body through it?

I know, I know. I've said it a million times. But prior to moving to LA I wasn't drinking, and I was totally fine with that. The last year has once again been turbulent- and the common denominator? Alcohol. I tip-toed back into that scene for the sake of making friends.

But it's time to make real friends. Whose responses don't drip with condescension when I say I don't want to wear a slutty Halloween costume (I suck at peer pressure). Friends who want to go to pumpkin patches and spend Wednesday nights watching Glee and eating cupcakes (without moaning how doing so makes them a cow).

It's time to come into my own and stamp out peer pressure. Once. And. For. All.